Head. Fucking. Desk.

I’m super thrilled (still) to have my website up.  I get a few emails a week from it, ranging from chit chat to bookings to spam.  Clearly the range of subjects I’m to receive email on is still expanding.

Today…

Name: Mike

Email: 004mcs@gmail.com

Sent: Monday 12/06/2010 21:54:30

Message: Hi Jessica
Do you happen to do any escort work in Dallas?  What are your rates?
Thx
Mike
I’m having a hard time picking between the bevy of belittling and very humorous replies that immediately come to mind, so maybe you guys can all write him back for me!!

 

 

 

4 Responses

  1. Dear Michael,

    As it turns out, I have not ever done escorting work, nor have I ever entertained the possibility of doing so.

    That being said, I shall not be coy and suggest that everyone does not have a price.

    If you are looking for simple “escort” work (i.e. a companion with whom to attend a public function) I think $350,000 for one event (maximum of 5 hours; overtime rates apply) seems a reasonable figure. As you know, I have been featured in Playboy publications, as well as a host of other internationally printed periodicals on countless occasions. I am extraordinarily well-known in the modeling world and your proverbial stock would rise considerably for being seen with me.

    As for any further services, again, this is not something I have ever done or considered doing. Accordingly, I can not begin to conceive of a price which would be persuasive enough to convince me to have sex with you. I would say two million dollars, but fear that you might actually be able to come up with that money (not knowing you or your personal finances) so I will simply suggest that you have a better chance of getting struck by lighting, twice, this month in Dallas than you do of ever putting your penis in any orifice on my body.

    I do thank you for the e-mail which was equal parts flattering and disgustingly offensive.

    I wish you the best of luck in your attempt to buy sex.

    Kind regards,

    -Jessica Robinson

  2. BTW I totally sent the above as a reply. Good times!

  3. Good answer, I would have gone for giving him the number of the local church and saying that they could probably help him !!

  4. BTW…he wrote me back again:

    “LOL
    Mighty high on yourself huh? Your attitude is simply horrendous. You have sex for money all the time, you just choose to view it differently. All women do. Some women realize that they could make a hell of a lot more money doing it this way, than relying on being a sugarbaby for one person…and they still have all their freedom to do as they wish. Playboy obviously made a mistake when they chose you to model for them…you have turned ugly from my perspective…”

    To which I replied:

    “Hey, go fuck yourself. I’m nobody’s sugar babe…I have one boyfriend, whom I love deeply. I pay all my bills myself. I’ll be sure to tell Playboy they should hire more models amenable to debasing themselves for your gratification.

    P.S. – way to solicit a complete stranger to commit a felony and then get pissy when they don’t care to do so.”

    And he hasn’t written back. Maybe his quest was successful!

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